You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
