i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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