Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
