Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
My vagina just recognized that song.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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