Define "chronic" masturbator.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize