We should be called the Road Head Warriors
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
i came on her dog
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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