I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i just google imaged poop.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
