honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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