how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
