We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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