I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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