he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
