Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
