How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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