Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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