she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
