No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
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