im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
