I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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