Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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