get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
