: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
