3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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