I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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