she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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