If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
