The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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