I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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