Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
