I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
This house was built for laser tag.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
