It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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