I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
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