I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
