the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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