i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
