thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
