You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
