So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
