Kiss
Puke
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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