he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I currently don't understand fingers.
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