i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
