Porn is love you can see.
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
