it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
you would pick up someone in the library
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
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