why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
