If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
