hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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