i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this hospital has no fireball
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize