If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
