South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
