dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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