Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
