just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Randomize
