ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Randomize
