That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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