what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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