we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
