im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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