Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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