True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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