even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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