Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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