when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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